[After marveling at how Lin-Manuel Miranda squeezed so much history into his lyrics for Hamilton, I recalled that I once squeezed a couple centuries of English history into a rap, writing for a middle school pageant around 1988. My colleague Martha Neilson wrote the hook. Any teachers out there are welcome to use this.]
It all started with a Viking finding England to his liking
and descending on our island with his crew.
All we had were sev'ral princes in their separate provinces;
it was Alfred who decided what to do.
So a kingdom was created; that is what Alfred the Great did
to unite and drive the Vikings from our land.
He was one king among others whom he treated as his brothers,
so the king and lords were working hand in hand.
But it wasn't too much longer 'til the kings were getting stronger.
It was John who fin'ly pushed beyond the line.
All the barons in their ardor made a thing called Magna Carta
and they said they'd kill him if he didn't sign.
(Refrain)
Keeping the kings in line,
keeping the kings in line:
Magna Carta, a petition,
was the start of a tradition
of keeping the king in line.
Now King John, he had a daughter, and the gentleman who got her
was DeMontfort, known as "Simon" to his friends.
Then the crown fell to another who by law was Simon's brother
who continued all of John's annoying trends.
Henry taxed beyond his rights and he imported foreign knights and
wasted fortunes buying finery and jewels.
Simon said, "You may be regal, but you're doing things illegal.
Here in England, rulers must obey the rules!"
So with hundreds of supporters from the high and lower orders
Simon led a great rebellion and he won.
With the king in his possession he proclaimed the debut session
of the Parliament: that's how it was begun.
(Repeat refrain)
But there soon were bad reactions from aristocratic factions
who resented being told to follow laws.
Knowing laws are part of freedom, Simon armed himself to meet 'em
and he died that day, a martyr for the cause.
(Repeat refrain.)
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